Happiness is appreciating the small things

I had an epiphany about happiness. I woke up this morning, got up to brush my teeth, and when I came back into the bedroom I saw that my partner was smiling in his sleep. I was overcome for a moment with how much I love him.

I’m not working my dream job. I don’t get to spend every day immersed in the thing that I love to do. I don’t live in my dream house. My cat is, well, a cat. I’m not really emotionally stable, or stable really in any sense of the word. The world at times feels like it’s on fire and we’re all going to die in a million different ways. But, despite all of that, this morning I looked at my partner, and I was truly, genuinely happy.

There are pockets of happiness to be found in the most unlikely of places. It’s like we’re all playing some video game where we set a goal and spend all our hours reaching towards it. But, there are a niche few who know that if you leave the path and veer to the left, climb up a tree or go into the cave, there is gold to be found.

We live in such a goal oriented society. We set New Years resolutions and feel bad about ourselves when we miss. Our work lives are our whole lives. When we meet a new person, one of the first things we ask is what they do for a living — as though the answer will tell us all we need to know about who they are fundamentally. As though they are not just trying to get by. As though what they do is their dream because to not reach your dream is failure and to have certain dreams is failure.

I’ve been reading a lot lately about people who reach their goals but are still unhappy. It’s so easy to be sad, to give into the despair and cease fighting the good fight. Each generation has their set of crises and ours are not any worse or better than the ones that came before us or the ones to come after us. But can you imagine what the world would be like if no one was trudging down the path towards that single goal that, let’s be honest, we’re not even 100% sure we want? Instead, what if we all agreed to veer left or right in search of those pockets of happiness that make our days bright?

I am so much more than my unfulfilled childhood dream and my constant struggles. It’s easy to forget that there is so much to look forward to. I can’t wait for the next time I get to see and hang out with my mom, or discuss complex theories with my grandmother. I can’t wait to go skiing with my dad. I can’t wait to meet my first niece, who was born a week ago all the way across the country. I can’t wait to see the world and try new foods. I can’t wait for every time I’ll get to do what I love to do — even if it’s not my source of income. I can’t wait for the next time my cat decides to stop biting my toes and comes in for a cuddle instead. I can’t wait to fall in love with my partner tomorrow, and the next day, and every day for as long as I can. There is so much potential for joy.

It’s just such an easy thing to forget when the darkness begins to seep in.